Steph

About Steph

Believe it or not, this is my nineteenth "about me" attempt! What can I tell you? Im 38, married, a mommy to boy/girl twins, and I work full-time. Those are the basics.

My husband drives me crazy, which is why I would say I am happily married 80% of the time and happily divorced, in my head, the other 20%. The fact that he is still breathing is a testament to the power of extra dirty martinis, and his ability to make the best Greek salad and Bloody Marys.

Anyone who knows me is well aware of the fact that before I met Andrew (the hubby), all I wanted was to get married and have kids. I've recently realized that my desire to get married is very similar to the desire I had as a child to break my arm. All the other kids were doing it, and afterwards, they had this really cool cast that everyone wanted to sign. Marriage is the same. You watch all your friends doing it. The rings are pretty cool and everyone wants to come celebrate. But what happens after that? In the case of the broken arm, the thrill wears off and your left with this stupid broken arm that is just slowing you down. Kind of like husbands! Slowing us ladies down! Moral of the story - think twice before jumping out of that tree house!

My children. I never knew this kind of love until I had them. They are almost two. I have concerns that my daughter may grow up to be a bully. I have concerns that my son is going to put me in an early grave with his constant attempts to land us in the ER.

My parents. I love them. I also think that they are aneurysms in human form. I assume that one day my children will think this about me. They will be wrong.

My job. After spending 18 months as a stay at home mom, going back to work has been the equivalent of a paid vacation to Bali...and not just your run of the mill five-star resort, but one of those super cool luxury huts that are literally IN the water where no one can get to you. But I digress...

While some may disagree, I believe in putting yourself out there - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the downright hideous. While I know it means I am subjecting myself to judgment from others, my experience so far has been that you will find out you are not alone in what you feel and what you go through in life, and nothing feels better than being understood.

So if I get judged a little along the way, who cares...Im judging the judgers, and well, screw you!

Shari

About Shari

I'm Shari; a woman of a certain age: Translation is I'm somewhere between Lolita and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane. Oxymoron has my finger prints smudged all over it… I'm the product of a Talmudic rabbinical scholar and a narcissistic fashionista . What that procreative contradiction produces is a deep thinker whose bulging closets are on the verge of serious collapse... I live in an elevator building but obsessively forge up 34 flights of stairs to my apt. every day. A good portion of my life I’'ve been identified in terms of my male connections : —Rabbi's Daughter, Doctor's wife, Jason and Daniel's mom. I have embraced those affiliations but also fought to emerge as my own person. I've been a medical claims investigator, ghost writer, an exercise guru, an English teacher, Diversity Coordinator and member of a theater company.

Retrospectively, I was the smartest 19 yr. old on the planet when I married my husband because we are still together. We're at the stage where I listen to him breathe at night because the thought of not waking up to him devastates me. Our shared passion is theater, books, challenging conversation, dining out, hiking in scenic places, our precious 3 yr. old granddaughter Edie, and oddly enough, each other.

I think when I was younger I believed in a sort of logical correlation of cause and effect making life somewhat predictable.. Experience has taught me the folly of that fantasy. No longer do I buy into the concept of there being a reason for everything. What experience has taught me is that resilience and distraction are great coping mechanisms. What can'’t be solved or fixed can either consume us and prevent us from still carving out meaning or we can relegate it to background noise and drown it out with a primal scream of Re-creation, —And that’s where this blog comes in…

This Empathetic Laugh-loving, Inner-Directed, Wounded Warrior is determined to make sense of the Day to Day Absurdities. Expressing my thoughts on paper always helps me crystallize them. I think while we are all unique —we all are in search of validation and human connection. I hope while I struggle to be my most authentic self by sharing my own angst and awe –you will lend your voice to the chaotic cacophony that defines our lives. Together maybe we can quiet the doubts and fears. Forgive the missteps and celebrate the magical moments.